"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
