Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize