we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
