He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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