help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
