We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
