I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
