let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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