I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
