btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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