You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
