i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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