Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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