So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
