I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
