honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
