I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
