Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
