New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
