Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
