You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Are we still banned from the library?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
