yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize