I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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