I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
