so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
