9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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