i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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