hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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