new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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