I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
