The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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