Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
