Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
