Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
