How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
