I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize