I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
