One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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