Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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