Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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