If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
