Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it glows. i had to have it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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