My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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