I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
