At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
