he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
