I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize