someone owes me an orgasm
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
