i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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