Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i believe in u and ur pee
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
