I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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