Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
