Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize