Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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