I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
