Just fell off a train. Bad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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