And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
