Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she told me i tasted like america
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
