Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
