I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
