we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
